Love, moving forward and hope in pursuit for justice

John McAreavey. Moving forward after Michaela. Living life as best you can.

Guilt ‘has always been a struggle’

After meeting as students in Belfast, Michaela and John married in on 30 December 2010.

However, tragedy would strike just 12 days later when she visited the couple’s room in a luxury resort in Mauritius on her own after lunch, and she was discovered by John who raised the alarm.

In the aftermath, John, now 41, mentioned there was shock, but there was also “anger” at how the authorities dealt with her death, and the lack of convictions that followed.

“I’ve never asked the question of, ‘why did this happen to me?’, I’ve always just felt so sorry for Michaela,” he mentioned.

“It’s only now that I’m able to talk about it quite logically. There’s still a hell of a lot of pain associated with it, but I accept that it’s always going to be the case.

“I know how intense it is to live with that pain, so I’ve been able to find a way to manage it.”

McAreavey, who featured for Down’s senior football panel and won an All-Ireland Intermediate title with his club Tullylish in 2010, admits that “moving on is a term that has never been comfortable for me”.

“I’ve mentioned before about moving forward, and that just changes the reference around it.

“You’ll never move on from something like that, you can’t just let that be. You have to find a way to move forward.

“I’m still heavily involved for trying to find justice for Michaela so it’s still a very active part of my life.”

Faith has played a big role in processing what had happened, and he says his relationship with God has helped him realise that “every day is a gift”.

“Right from the moment it happened I felt that warmth and protection, and I’ve never felt alone too much in that way.

“A lot of that was down to Michaela, too, with the amount of faith she had in God.

“I’m someone who lives with gratitude. I can’t look at it any other way because I still have so many things that are good in my life.

“Yes, I had this awful, traumatic experience. But I got to have Michaela and I got to experience her, even for a short time.”

McAreavey says he has battled with the guilt of Michaela’s death and says “that part has always been a struggle”.

“I always believe when you are with somebody, you are there to protect them.

“You do and you have to [be pragmatic that he could not have stopped her death], it’s the only way to take yourself out of it. It’s something that I’ve had to live with and navigate through.”

‘That was a big thing’

While the search for justice in Mauritius carries on, Michaela’s legacy continued in Ireland. A foundation was set up in her name, and a crowd of 20,000 attended Casement Park in Belfast for the tribute Match for Michaela, which saw All-Ireland champions Donegal play an Ulster select side.

But it was after that match, when McAreavey, who says people talking about him “doesn’t bother me”, had organised to go to Galway with his friends, that he met Tara.

“It wasn’t an overly conscious decision that I was going to go and meet somebody.

“It was an emotional time, and I remember waking up on the Monday after the match for Michaela and I felt a lot lighter, something had definitely changed.

“There was lanterns at the event and it must have been during the week when I was watching it back, they went into the sky and formed the shape of a ‘M’.

“I read that as Michaela saying, ‘John I’m fine here and off you go, move on forward’. That was a big thing.”

“I went to Galway and bumped into Tara, and conversation struck and off it went.”

With the blessing of the Harte family, who McAreavey says “are great people”, Tara and John married in 2016. They now have two children, a son and a daughter.

He adds there is now a “bond” with the Harte family, particularly who Mickey and Mark, Michaela’s brother, who became “really good friends”.

“When you love someone you want the best for them, and I truly believe they were happy for me. They seen the pain I was in, and it represented coming out of that pain.

“There were tears, but it was all from the right place. It’s tricky to navigate, but they’ve all been very supportive.”

McAreavey mentioned Tara is “unbelievable” and her support has “been paramount” as he balances moving forward with his life while fighting his battle for Michaela.

“The time I met Tara I was still grieving, and then you are dealing with these new feelings.

“She’s been thrown into this limelight. There was always so much love there, even in the times where it felt like it was too difficult, it’s always come back to that.”

‘The fight will never go away’

McAreavey mentioned he feels “a sense of responsibility” to continue to fight for Michaela 15 years on.

While he has moved forward with other aspects of his life, he mentioned “there’s a fight in me that I don’t think that will ever go away”.

“The least you would expect it the people who are responsible would have to pay for that.

“It does seem impossible at times, but then I see other people around the world in cases that have went on for 20 or 30 years and that gives me hope.

“I truly believe if the right people have the will then they can make things happen.”

In November, Irish Tanaiste Simon Harris mentioned he there would be “immediate” engagement” with the authorities in Mauritius having met with the McAreavey and Harte families, and John says “I can only control what I control”.

“We’ve been working with the department of foreign affairs in Ireland for quite some time to engage through the diplomatic routes.

“That’s where it has to be, but it’s imploring them to do what they have to do. That is ongoing. It’s essentially asking people to do their job.”

McAreavey hopes there is still a possibility where the two hotel workers who were acquitted in 2012, Sandip Moneea and Avinash Treebhoowoon, could be recharged in the future.

Treebhoowoon had initially confessed to the murder but plead not guilty after saying police had beaten a confession out of him.

The initial trial raised issues about the crime scene contamination which led to a lack to DNA evidence and a former suspect and key witness, Raj Theekoy, has since died, but McAreavey has not given up hope.

“There’s no guarantees you would get the verdict. What we experienced was a circus, but right now that would be enough victory, to see those guys go through the mill again.

“If I focus too much on the outcome then it won’t serve me well. All I can focus on is the pursuit of that justice.”

McAreavey feels that “how it concludes is ultimately down to me”, and his own determination for justice will keep Michaela’s case in light.

“The moment I stop pursuing things, then people over there will respond in kind.

“The longer it goes on it does get challenging to see, ‘where is this going?. But I feel with the right people engaged it can happen.”

Love, moving forward and hope in pursuit for justice

Guilt ‘has always been a struggle’

‘That was a big thing’

‘The fight will never go away’

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Guilt ‘has always been a struggle’

‘That was a big thing’

‘The fight will never go away’

Related topics

Related Posts

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